There are many things in my life of which I’m not especially proud. However, at the end of the day, no matter what I’ve done has always been for the so-called greater good.
As I move through the shank of my life, I think that I spent many years raising my kids as a single parent. They came out well, as I’ve said in earlier posts. In fact, they are the best things I’ve ever done.
My kids came out of a marriage from which I extricated myself through an affair. Now, while having an affair while one is married is wrong, but there’s a rationalization here for me. As we went through the divorce process, the kids then were under 8 years old, she voluntarily gave up custody of them. There was no “joint” custody, I was the sole custodian. Back then, incidentally, I’m not at all certain there was “joint” custody, but I am certain that it was quite, if not remarkably unusual for the father to have sole custody. Her rationalization was that I could better care for them financially…she went on to take 50 percent of my income in alimony. It was an almost equally unusual event when she would take the kids for her “assigned” weekends.
I don’t know about you, but to this day I’ve never heard of a woman giving up custody of her children. On the other hand, as folks who know me know, I was thrilled. The joke has always been, “If you’re a girl in Central Park, who are you going to go to: The guy with the cute puppy or the one looking forelorn with the cute young kids?”
To this day her relationship with my oldest is not especially good, but not because of the custody issue. As it’s explained to me by the older one, it’s because “she seems to be making up for the past, although she seems to forget the past and tries to insinuate herself in everything we do.”
My second ex-wife was nice enough…in the beginning. Well, throughout the marriage which lasted way too long. I married her for all the wrong reasons as well, however, raising a couple of kids and being short on cash because of ex-wife number one was a motivator for me. I’d probably be in that marriage today if she hadn’t gone “new age” on me. A few years into the marriage I was doing quite well, but she was draining cash with “channels” and the like.
